September 1

 I just opened my "Blogs" folder on a whim and was sad to see how many aren't there anymore... but I guess I'm not either. I caught up on a years worth of news from the ones that were left, and spent a moment being wistful for pre-2020 one last time. Fitting as Gwen just tested positive for COVID this morning. Three and a half years, it finally got one of us. 

Time keeps ticking by, and everything changes while so much stays the same. There is a Welsh word I learned recently, "Hiraeth," which doesn't have a direct English translation, but basically is a longing or homesickness, but even more so it's a sense of incompleteness that leaves you feeling unfulfilled. Its a deep aching for a place that you might not have even been yet. Go figure that the word I was looking for all along was hidden in the language of my ancestors. I long for a forever home to call our own, I long for Wales, I long for a settledness that I am missing. I probably shouldn't be blogging while I'm home with an isolating, sick teen... it apparently makes me melancholy! 

Don't get me wrong: I am grateful that I can easily be here for her. Some of those changes over the past year are releasing my Necrocartography job in preparation for a fuller yoga schedule starting next year. That extra time was a huge relief during our summer travels*, and even more so now. My doula client for September went at the very start of my on-call period, thus ensuring quarantining didn't keep me from attending her labor. And Labor Day gives us an extra day to recover (which she does seem to be doing now, 3 days in). Plenty to appreciate about in this whole mess. 

I also just appreciate that its September. While its still hot as Hades at the moment, this starts the counting down to the first days of Autumn, and our Mabon celebration; then October (my favorite month of the year) with our Anniversary, some camping over Fall Break, and Halloween of course. And so much more! I might have a touch of the ennui at the moment, but I know there is so much to be excited for. 

* for posterity: We drove about 913 miles the first day (over 13 hours), stopping at a random hotel before continuing on to Andy, Megan, and Wyatt's the following day. We stayed there two nights before heading to see my parent's amazing friends, George and Mary in the Finger Lake's area of New York. Then it was on to two night with Trav's Uncles in Massachusetts, before heading onto the Cape for 5 days. On to my Parent's place after that for 5 nights, then down Philly for the day. Spent that night with my Aunt & Uncle, before heading West. One night in a random hotel then it was on to Amanda Panda, Parker, and Penny's for two nights. After that we booked it home, and couldn't have been happier to be in our own beds!