The Easiest Hard Thing

Last night Gwen hosted her first real sleepover with a friend, and Monday she heads to Middle School. Its hard to wrap my head around my baby being, well, not at all a baby anymore. She's so grown in so many ways. These pre-teen years are challenging. There's so much she wants to do (and I want her to be able to do), but so much to make that feasible (sometimes that's just time). 

Parenting is the easiest and hardest thing I've ever done. She pushes against every boundary, and challenges me in ways I never even imagined. But then she greets me with so much exuberance, or melts into my hugs and suddenly I can't imagine anything easier. She is my person. She is my heart. 

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I wrote this all the way back in August... meant to come back to it, and just never did. I'm trying to get back to writing, as I miss it so, and one thing I will do is come back to my drafts. I might complete them, or I might say fuck it and just publish them as they are. But I just want to start recording things again. I want to leave things for Gwen to come back to when she's older to remember this time. 

Gwen isn't loving Middle School (who does, oh boy), but she is excelling. She has processes in place to help with her mental health, and does well with the work itself (two quarters down so far, and all As in both of them!). She went on after this to have another sleepover with the same friend, at her house, and it went beautifully. I'm so grateful for my girl, this child that teaches me as much as I teach her, and who helps heal things in me I didn't know needed healed.