Summer Storms - An Angry One

We were supposed to leave today, originally for a few weeks of adventuring, seeing family and friends, exploring Maine and Montreal. Most of that was cancelled ages ago. Now is obviously not the time to discover a new city. But we had thought until very recently that we'd still at least get to see my parents and sibling. A change of scenery, some family time. That was not to be either.

I was sitting on my couch earlier listening to a summer thunderstorm approach, just feeling inside, for all intents and purposes, the same as the intense winds and splatters of rain that were rolling in with the storm. That combine with the feeling of all the now empty days ahead on my calendar.

I found a new therapist, someone much more suited to me then the one I found just over two years ago, and unceremoniously dumped 9 (?) months ago. I've already poured out some of my anger and frustration over the pandemic and all its taken. There's so much to say and go over, a lifetime of things to unpack so much more then 3 months of loss, and I feel like I'll need years to talk about it all. So maybe I'll save the history for her, and come here with my anger at every single person I see that isn't wearing a mask, in their gatherings by the dozens, because so many of us have changed everything, and they can't seem to deal with a square of fucking fabric to show a little consideration to their fellow man. God Bless, Motherfucking America.

Let me not beat around the bush here: if you are a science-denying dick who can't wear a mask or not get together to drink cases of beer with your 20 best friends, then you are the reason I can't see my family right now, and I ask you to kindly fuck off. Truly.

Humanity feels like a failed experiment. And I'm not handling it well. I'm angry, and also I'm just sad. I thought we were better then this, and we're clearly just not.