Let's Talk Gender

So first lets just get this right now there... do we all know the difference between sex and gender? Super quick version: sex is about your body, gender is about who you feel yourself to be, and sexual orientation is about to whom you’re attracted sexually.

Unshortening that just a smidge: sex refers to the biological differences between males and females, such as the genitalia and genetic differences, while gender is generally referring to the roles we play, that of a male or female in society or an individual's concept of themselves, or gender identity. Sometimes these match, sometimes they are completely different, and more often there is a whole beautiful spectrum in between. Cis refers to those who are born with sex and gender identities in alignment, while other refer to themselves as transgender, non-binary, or gender-nonconforming (just to name a few).

A super easy thing to do when you aren't sure if someone's gender and sex align, or aren't sure of one or the other, is simply to ask what their preferred pronouns are. Its a super easy way to make sure that you're being respectful of people, and addressing them in a way that feels positive and affirming!

Why am I even bringing this up? Well, I've recently had someone I love come out to me as trans, and as these things do, it got me thinking just a little bit deeper about gender. Add to that a few times lately where I've been misgendered ("well, you have more tattoos then girls normally have..." 😕), and then culminating in a conversation with a really amazing friend of mine, who decided (intuitively?!) to check in on my pronouns...

While the reasons I was misgendered made me raise an eyebrow or two, I actually wasn't hurt or upset by the pronouns themselves. I'm not trans, I don't feel that I was born in the wrong body, but I do align more with the "titles" of gender fluid/gender queer, and that feels good. I have a lot of masculine energy at times, and don't get bothered when that translates to people calling me Sir, or Gwen's Dad, or He.

I wanted to talk about this because I know that for most people these conversations are new. Trust me when I say that these feelings aren't new, trans people aren't new, but for a lot of people, being this open about it is new.