As A Doula

I love my job. I get to be there for one of the most life changing moments that a parent will experience. With each client, I live my life moment by moment, waiting for the call that will send my body flooding with adrenaline, and scurrying off into the dark. I spend days, weeks, maybe months with them beforehand trying to prepare them for some of the most taxing work their body will ever do, but also for the completely unexplainable transformation from individual to parent.

It is exhilarating.

I can go, on my feet, coaching, supporting, suggesting, reminding for 4 hours, 12 hours, 27 hours, or more. I am soft when you need compassion, and strong when you need to be recentered. I'm gentle when you need the nudge to remember to use your voice, and I'm loud if anyone ever dares to doubt you. It is completely and undeniably fulfilling.

 It is also exhausting. We help pass hours or even days, marked in increments of 2 - 4 minutes. I wake up the day after a birth and I'm physically tired. I'm emotionally drained too, and it can take me a day of self care and some verbal processing to get back on track. Doulas see you at your best, and we see you at a time when you feel your most weak. Through it we are an even constant.

I have attended unmedicated births, births with epidurals, spontaneous births, and inductions. I have attended births with traumatic pasts, births with scary situations, births that had every intervention, and births that went exactly as planned. All have been beautiful in their own ways. 

As a doula, when you say, "We couldn't have done this without you..." it will be my gut instinct to say, "Of course you could have!" because I truly believe in the power of every individual to birth. But, when I allow myself to think of how proud I am of what I do, I also know that maybe you are right. We all have those moments when we forget our worth, forget our power, and having someone there to remind you of that is so important always, but especially in what can be one of the most exhausting, and vulnerable times of a person's life. With someone to remind you though, your divinity and power shines!

When you thank me, I might not know how to react, because it truly is an honor to be a part of each birth. Here's me owning my power and worth for a moment though too: What I do matters, and makes a different. And I am damn good at what I do.

I'm a doula, and I love my job.