Rambling Rambles

Wedding hair color!

Before the wedding I was more then a little stressed out. There was so much to think about and get done - logistical things like replacing tires for the drive out, booking a dogsitter, making sure I had everything for my outfit, and buying things to help make the centerpieces - I wanted my best girl's wedding to perfect! That was not, of course, my responsibility, but I just wanted to be sure that everything that I was handling was as perfect as possible. Plus, the rest of life didn't stop because I was thinking about a wedding. We have a bunch of big travel coming up throughout the rest of the year, and there were things that needed to be addressed for those as well, not to mention school items and teaching. I was feeling a little overwhelmed.

While all this was happening, I couldn't help thinking about how ridiculous it was of me to complain; because at the very same time, a whole city was/is underwater. Blogs that I read, people that I know, friends and online acquaintances, whole cities of strangers that deserve so much better... they're all underwater. Fighting for their lives in some cases, or for their homes and livelihoods. (Just look at this over at Lag Liv, and this one too.) I feel silly for being overwhelmed by the good things in life, and completely stuck for ways to actually help (these are great references).

But here's the thing about life: it keeps going despite the horrors of the world.

(From Lag Liv:

I was standing in Trader Joe's today and just looking at all the people buying healthy foods for their week ahead and I just wanted to yell "do you know what Houston looks like right now? do you know there are piles of drywall everywhere? and mold is starting to grow and spread? and people don't have flood insurance? or money or power or AC or water and it is all just fucking awful?" But of course they don't. I mean, some may have gone down to Houston like me and seen it, but one of our necessary abilities is being able to move on from other people's tragedies to focus on ourselves. You can't let every disaster devastate you. You help, but you stay in your circle and you live your life. I've done the exact same thing over and over again and you must, but it was just so jarring to have gone from a drywall covered emotionally overwrought hellscape to... Trader Joe's, four hours and several light-years away. )

So I continued to be overwhelmed and anticipatory.

There are just so many things on my To Do list, projects I want to try to tackle, things I want to incorporate into life, new ventures to pursue; but I already feel like I am just maintaining adequacy with what is currently on my plate.

I had a full week last week, with new doula clients, yoga classes, a dozen errands and the normal day-to-day details, but this one should be slightly calmer? I look forward to "working ahead" on what I can. Pounding out details so hopefully our next trips are just a smidge less stressful. We'll see how that actually works, of course.