Mid-July, when I was writing
this post about trying to let go of the things I can't control, and
this post about distractions, we were in the process of making appointments to see two houses. This is not something new or exciting... at that point, we'd been looking at houses for 10 months already (ho-ly $#!%). But at the same time that we were making those appointments, we were wondering if we were even going to be keeping them, because Trav was in the process of applying for a job.
In Colorado (holy $#!% again).
He was actually invited to apply, by a former coworker who was buying a company and needed a Comptroller. So he did, and well, he got it.
And come the last week of August, we will be moving to Denver.
This is so not where I thought we would be ending up back when we started this crazy house-hunting journey. To put it lightly!
But here's the thing about the universe, about life, it takes you where you least expect; and I truly believe there is a plan. I am so excited, and terrified, and happy, and sad, and... everything! I am every emotion right now. But I'm mostly excited.
I have 2 weeks left of work, at the place that's grown me for the past 11 years. A place that frankly, I had outgrown, and that wasn't leading me where I needed to go anymore, but a place full of good people, doing good things, that I had grown to love. A place that I probably would have stayed in for a long time more if not for this.
We have 3.5 weeks left in the house that we've lived in for a decade, the house we brought our baby home to, the only house she's ever known! Yes, we were going to leave it soon anyway, but I would have been sad then too! And this feels very... final. It feels different.
But in about 3.5 weeks, we will start an epic roadtrip half way across the country! I will be able to cross a few more states off the "
to visit" list. And in 4 weeks, we will start our lives in a new city. Gwen will start kindergarten. Trav will start his new job. I will enjoy some time off of work. I will get to be the one that picks Gwenie up from school, and makes dinners for her family. I will unpack our boxes, and set up our household. I will hopefully take the steps to work towards a new career direction, while having the time to help my family adjust to this transition.
***
The other night I lay in bed next to Gwen, after a long discussion of the movie Inside Out, especially about joy and sadness and anger. We talked about how they are all important, and they are all okay to feel. She talked about how all the change lately is making her a little sad, and I told her that I felt that too; but that I also felt excited because there is so much joy to come. Then I sang her the song that I used to sing her every night when she was a baby, in the very same bed that used to be her crib, and let myself feel sad for all we were leaving behind.
Then I got back to feeling exciting... because there is so much joy and adventure in our future!
* “For West is where we all plan to go some day. It is where you go when
the land gives out and the old-field pines encroach. It is where you go
when you get the letter saying: Flee, all is discovered. It is where you
go when you look down at the blade in your hand and the blood on it. It
is where you go when you are told that you are a bubble on the tide of
empire. It is where you go when you hear that thar's gold in them-thar
hills. It is where you go to grow up with the country. It is where you
go to spend your old age. Or it is just where you go.”
―
Robert Penn Warren
