Something has been nagging at me for a while. A feeling like everyone else is so far ahead of me. Like I'm playing at this whole adult thing. I remember being a child and thinking that all the adults were so sure of themselves, that they knew all the whats and hows and whos and whys. Now I'm the adult, and i feel so far from that. Many days I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing!
I'm finally starting to figure out that it's okay that I don't have it all figured out.
That image I had from childhood, it's just that: an image, an illusion, a child's take on this idea of adulthood. As a teenager you know it all, what and who and how you will be. But the truth is, the older you get and the more you learn, the more you realize all that you don't know.
I don't know what life will look like a year from now. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I do know that I have to stop waiting around for the next big thing which will let my "real life" begin. Job frustrations, life frustrations, house frustrations and all...
Real life is now, and I don't have to have it all figured out, I just have to live it.
There's a great quote from Lev Grossman's book "The Magicians" which really changed my outlook on life: “[F]or just one second, look at your life and see how perfect it is. Stop looking for the next secret door that is going to lead you to your real life. Stop waiting. This is it: there's nothing else. It's here, and you'd better decide to enjoy it or you're going to be miserable wherever you go, for the rest of your life, forever.” I am always suprised when I realize that I'm in my mid-twenties, I am one of those twentysomethings who I looked up to when I was a teenager. I always thought that they had cool lifes with a great apartment and friends like in "Friends" and awesome jobs and passionate relationships. Well my life is not like in a tv show and it's not like I expected but I do have an apartment in a small town and awesome friends who live unfortunately far away from me and a job I never considered before which is not my dream job but a step in the right direction and a passionate relationship, so I should really stop complaining and be grateful for how great my life really is. I'm sure your life is actually pretty awesome too,
ReplyDeleteThank you Sunita! That is a wonderful quote, and a wonderful reminder.
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