february - the best and the worst

Its been cold lately, and snowy/rainy. Today its supposed to rain all morning, and be generally dreary. That is the best and worst thing about being home during the winter - all those days I would normally say, "I wish I could be home reading a book and drinking tea, curled up under a blanket with Daisy," - well that's exactly where I am! But it also makes it very hard to get out of the house even, or especially, for a walk around the block. At least Wednesday is supposed to be in the 40s and dry, so hopefully I can get out at least once this week.

Other random things that are also "good" and "bad":
I'm down to pumping once a day, in the mornings, and am almost done with that. I plan to try to drop that pump in the next day or so, only pumping enough to make myself comfortable if needed. It will be nice not to have to worry about pumping anymore, but it will be weird too. There are no more pregnancy planned over here, which means no more breastfeeding/pumping either. Of the last 5 years, since Gwen's been born, I've now spent 3 years and 4 months of that either nursing or pumping or a combo of both. There was something very empowering about the whole "my body can feed people!" thing, and it is a little saddening to think that I am going to be completely done with that.

At least, while it lasted I got to help feed multiple babies! Gwen exclusively, Baby Boy about 1/2 his needs for the first 2 weeks, I donated 100 oz to a mama when I was pumping for Gwen, and now I have somewhere around 150 oz frozen, which is going to go to a preemie milk bank to help preemie babies! So that is a pretty awesome feeling.

The pumping also helped me. Physically nursing/pumping releases hormones that help your body recover from pregnancy, labor, and delivery; and it also burns extra calories (about 500 calories a day for someone feeding a baby exclusively). I've lost most of the baby weight and my belly has shrunk down nicely.

That said, and let me preface this with a big I know my body needs time, but its much more noticeable when you aren't caring for a newborn just how weak your muscles get after the shredding they go through in labor, and the subsequent disuse during the rest period. I feel strong for what my body did during pregnancy and delivery, but my body feels very weak right now, and that is not a feeling I enjoy. Two more weeks until I'm cleared for real workouts, and can return to yoga. In the meantime, I've started working in some gentle stretching to at least start waking up, warming up, and loosening up my arms and legs.

For now though... I'm going to have a nice curl up with a book and dog session!