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| Happy SpiderGirl! |
7.30.2014
7.29.2014
impromptus and asides
We had a great weekend, relaxing and fun. Saturday was nothing but chores, movies, and trips to the store. Sunday we headed to Ro and Pat's, where Ro and I took the girls swimming, and the boys hung out at home. It was nice.I have lots of random things on my mind today, so I hope you'll bear with my as I throw them all out haphazardly. I'll mix in some cute pictures of Gwen to sweeten the pot.
- We've been look around a bit lately at houses. We've been thinking about moving forever, but have kicked it up a notch lately. We'll be registering Gwen for kindergarten in the spring (what the what?!), so I'd love to be moved by then. I'm finding the whole thing exciting and overwhelming. We've always known we'd want to move into a single house (vs. our twin), in a better school district (the schools in this district only score between a 2 and 4... out of 10!), with another bathroom (we currently have one)... but its hard to think about leaving our currently place. Our neighbors are amazing and we love them, and our mortgage payments are lovely. But that's not enough of a reason to stay. The areas we are looking in have schools rated at 9s or 10s, they are closer to Trav's work, closer to Ro and Pat, and close to a lot of other things we love (including my yoga studio!).
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| Loving her new superman doll! A gift from our fabulous neighbors! |
- Why do most places in the area not offer full-day kindergarten? This is annoying me to no end. Seriously, my kid has been in full-day programs since she was 12 weeks old, she can handle full-day kindergarten. We are absolutely not the only parents working full-time, so its rather frustrating. Thankfully the place does bus to a local daycare, but that means she'll be going to two new schools... and I'll also be paying for half-day daycare, plus probably aftercare still. Lame.
- Gwen is fun and sweet and sociable, but I'm still a little terrified of my little girl going off to a big school with all new people and making all new friends. I'm a rational person, I know she will be fine. I also know that in this life she will suffer heartache and encounter rude people. But look at that face! It kills me to think of her being hurt, encountering bullies, or feeling lonely without the kids she grown with for the past 4+ years. I'm assuming/hoping that I'm blowing this all up in my head to more then it needs to be, and to Gwen when it comes time to discuss such things I will be nothing but excited and positive, but frankly I'm finding it to be a bit overwhelming, and even scary. Tell me I'm not the only one to feel this way.
- My baby is growing up too fast.
- Hey, apparently so far I am following actual, logical trains of thought... - I finally sat down and looked at how many weeks were left in my class vs. how much work I still have to do, and was happy to discover that I was a little ahead of the game! Woo-hoo. If I play my cards right, and keep the pace up, I might be able to get away with only working on homework while in Cape Cod at the end of the month and not having to do any classes. Yay!
- Thanks to my random day off with Gwen this Friday, taking a day for my birthday, and then our Cape Cod days, I'm only working one Friday this month! I could get used to this schedule. I think the month is going to fly by!
Okay, I guess that's all I have for now. Thanks for humoring my brain dump, and I welcome your thoughts. Off to eat some lunch!
7.25.2014
yoga motifications for pregnancy
One of the first concerns I had when getting pregnant was being as careful as I could to safeguard a pregnancy. I wanted to be sure nothing I did would compromise that little life growing inside me. But I also didn't want to give up the yoga studios I love to find a prenatal class (which neither of my two studios currently offer). I worried that prenatal would feel way too slow to me, since I was used to faster, intermediate flow classes. I also love inverting, and didn't want to give that up.
I did a lot of searching because I wanted to find the best modifications for an experienced yogi to be able to continue her practice while expecting. I wanted to be active and keep up my level of fitness throughout my pregnancy. Most of the information I was finding seemed geared towards brand new or beginner practitioners, but I managed to find two great articles that I trusted, and who's information rang true for me. Plus I made sure to talk with a few of my yoga teachers. I thought I would share the advice here, in case others find themselves in the same position.
Here are the main points:
1st Tri: Not too many adjustments needed at this point. Avoid taking your twists and back bends too deep, and avoid jump backs or jump switches (unless you have already mastered "floating" down) which could be too jarring. It is also recommended that you avoid inversions from 9 - 13 weeks, when the placenta is attaching, as inverting could promote placenta previa.
2nd Tri: As your uterus gets bigger, you will have to modify floor work. At first you might be able to lay down blankets for extra padding, or use bolsters to keep the weight off your uterus. Certain poses, like dhanurasana (bow), can be done on your side; others, like locust are better avoided (maybe switching to balancing tabletop instead). You'll also need to adjust your stance a little wider for certain poses like forward folds to accommodate your growing belly, and the changes in balance. Inversions may need to be moved to a wall. Towards the end savasana will probably need to be done on the side, adding bolsters under top knee as needed.
3rd Tri: The same as 2nd tri, but a step further as your balance changes even more. Stop inverting in the last few weeks, since the baby moving down at that point is encouraged. And really be careful not to push too far, as ligaments really start loosening up and injury becomes more likely.
Most important... listen to your body! Trust your gut. If something doesn't seem accessible or safe, trust that instinct and let go of that pose for the time being. As your body changes, things that were easy will get hard, things that felt good no longer will. Listen to your body, accept your limitations, don't let your ego end up causing you pain.
Sources:
Yoga Modifications for Pregnant Mamas with a Strong Vinyasa Flow Practice
Pregnancy Modifications for Experienced Students
And my yoga teachers! :-)
I did a lot of searching because I wanted to find the best modifications for an experienced yogi to be able to continue her practice while expecting. I wanted to be active and keep up my level of fitness throughout my pregnancy. Most of the information I was finding seemed geared towards brand new or beginner practitioners, but I managed to find two great articles that I trusted, and who's information rang true for me. Plus I made sure to talk with a few of my yoga teachers. I thought I would share the advice here, in case others find themselves in the same position.
Here are the main points:
1st Tri: Not too many adjustments needed at this point. Avoid taking your twists and back bends too deep, and avoid jump backs or jump switches (unless you have already mastered "floating" down) which could be too jarring. It is also recommended that you avoid inversions from 9 - 13 weeks, when the placenta is attaching, as inverting could promote placenta previa.
2nd Tri: As your uterus gets bigger, you will have to modify floor work. At first you might be able to lay down blankets for extra padding, or use bolsters to keep the weight off your uterus. Certain poses, like dhanurasana (bow), can be done on your side; others, like locust are better avoided (maybe switching to balancing tabletop instead). You'll also need to adjust your stance a little wider for certain poses like forward folds to accommodate your growing belly, and the changes in balance. Inversions may need to be moved to a wall. Towards the end savasana will probably need to be done on the side, adding bolsters under top knee as needed.
3rd Tri: The same as 2nd tri, but a step further as your balance changes even more. Stop inverting in the last few weeks, since the baby moving down at that point is encouraged. And really be careful not to push too far, as ligaments really start loosening up and injury becomes more likely.
Most important... listen to your body! Trust your gut. If something doesn't seem accessible or safe, trust that instinct and let go of that pose for the time being. As your body changes, things that were easy will get hard, things that felt good no longer will. Listen to your body, accept your limitations, don't let your ego end up causing you pain.
Sources:
Yoga Modifications for Pregnant Mamas with a Strong Vinyasa Flow Practice
Pregnancy Modifications for Experienced Students
And my yoga teachers! :-)
7.23.2014
the memory of her smell
Scent memory is such a powerful thing. Its actually one of the strongest senses tied to memories, more then sound or sight or touch. I've talked about scent memories before, specifically how the smell of clove cigarettes takes me right back to college.
Today I smelled my Gram. Did I ever tell you how soft my Gram's skin was? Probably not, but it was the softest skin I've ever felt. I guess I always associated her smell with her soft skin. Maybe the smell was her lotion, I think there were hints of baby powder in there, and something else, something just her. But I smelled that smell this morning, just for a moment or two, as I was walking into work.
And in that moment I could practically feel the softness of her cheeks as she kissed and hugged me.
She was the last of my grandparents. The one I got to spend the most time with as an adult. The only one who got to know Gwen. When my mom's parents were alive I was closer to them then to my Dad's, but I was a child then, and they were both gone before I graduated high school. I got to know my Gram in a way that I didn't get to know them. I got to see her with Gwen.
It's been just over two years since we said goodbye, and I miss her so so much.
7.21.2014
camping at Keen Lake
Thursday morning we woke up to a beautiful day. We weren't in a rush, which was nice, so we did some laundry, packed our bags, ate some lunch, then packed the car and headed out. It took us about 2.5 hours (plus a bathroom stop) to get to the campsite, so we arrived around 4. We chose this place because a friend gave it good reviews, and it looked really pet friendly. As with anywhere new, our fingers were crossed.
Check-in was a good start. Everyone was so friendly, and the gave us a map showing exactly where our site was and all the other fun campground amenities. We headed up to our site, the last in a row of no hook-up sites set a little apart (by request!), and started getting set up.
It was great. From our site you could barely see anyone else, and the sites around us stayed empty until Saturday! Even when someone did come to one of the sites Saturday, we were spaced enough that it didn't matter. Our site was large and allowed us a lot of freedom. We were able to let Daisy off leash (she is very good about learning her boundaries and staying within them, and not once did she stray away from us) and it was very relaxing for all of us.
The new tent (my big birthday present to Trav) was so much easier to set up then our old one, and very nicely made. After we got the site set up, and our sleeping bags arranged, we looked around for sticks for a bit, then headed down so Gwen could play on the playground by the lake. The lakefront, office/store, playground, and swimming pool were all together and about a 3 minute walk from our site. Very convenient, but far enough away. While Gwen played, Trav went and bought some firewood, then headed back to the site with Daisy.
We made a big fire, then cooked dinner and s'mores. Gwen loved the chocolate and the graham crackers, but didn't love the melty marshmallow.
That first night Gwen was a little riled up from the long ride in the car, the excitement of camping and getting to sleep outside, and the sugar of the s'mores(!), so we decided to let her stay up a little late to blow off some steam. Ugh, disaster! We all headed into the tent around 9, and she proceeded to pop up and down like a deranged jack in the box not matter what we said until we finally said we just weren't going to be able to come camping with her anymore unless she just. lay. down. already! Once we actually got her to lay down and stay still she was out within minutes, but jeez louise, that girl was nuts!
Friday dawned gorgeously, another cool sunny day. We headed to a local town that was having a large sidewalk sale event (all of main street's stores spilled out onto the sidewalks and offered deal, snacks, drinks, etc) to walk along the street and give the day a chance to warm up. Then it was back for some lunch and then some swimming!
Gwen looked amazing, of course. I rocked some camping chic, as my sandals had picked the first day of camping to finally bite it. Nothing like clomping to the pool in your hiking boots!
Trav took Daisy swimming in the dog section of the lake, while we hit up the slightly warmer pool.
Afterwards we headed back to the campsite. We read Gwen her new comic book (a sidewalk sale purchase), ate an afternoon snack, and relaxed for a bit before heading for a walk around the campgrounds. We found two more playgrounds and tried them both!
Bedtime that night went MUCH smoother as we stuck closer to her normal routine, skipped the s'mores before bed, and she had expelled a lot more energy during the day!
Saturday we headed out in the morning to check out Prompton State Park, which was just down the road. I hadn't looked into it before we arrived, and it was a lot harder to figure out their trails, but we found a shorter one to play around on.
We hiked there for a bit, then on our way out stopped to enjoy the lake view.
There also happened to be a barefoot waterskiing competition going on! Gwen was enthralled.
We hit up a local BBQ pit for lunch, then back to the campsite for more swimming (Gwen and Trav), and relaxing (Daisy and I). Gwen and I went to the little arcade by the store, then came back and played cards for a while before bed.
Sunday it was time to clean up and head home. We'd packed up a lot of stuff the night before, so we dressed, brushed teeth, cleaned up the clothes and sleeping bags, then put down the tent. We got the car all packed and did a last walk through to make sure we had gotten everything (take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints!), and were at the office/store by 8:50 to check out and grab some breakfast to go. The ride home was easy, and we were home for lunch, with the whole afternoon to grab showers and do our 5 loads of laundry!!
Overall, it was a great mini-vacation. We enjoyed getting away, and reconnecting with nature. Gwen even exclaimed at one point that she wanted to live there. While the hiking wasn't as scenic as Rickett's Glen, we definitely enjoyed the extra amenities and the fact that there was more room between us and our camping neighbors. I think we'll definitely go there again.
Check-in was a good start. Everyone was so friendly, and the gave us a map showing exactly where our site was and all the other fun campground amenities. We headed up to our site, the last in a row of no hook-up sites set a little apart (by request!), and started getting set up. It was great. From our site you could barely see anyone else, and the sites around us stayed empty until Saturday! Even when someone did come to one of the sites Saturday, we were spaced enough that it didn't matter. Our site was large and allowed us a lot of freedom. We were able to let Daisy off leash (she is very good about learning her boundaries and staying within them, and not once did she stray away from us) and it was very relaxing for all of us.
The new tent (my big birthday present to Trav) was so much easier to set up then our old one, and very nicely made. After we got the site set up, and our sleeping bags arranged, we looked around for sticks for a bit, then headed down so Gwen could play on the playground by the lake. The lakefront, office/store, playground, and swimming pool were all together and about a 3 minute walk from our site. Very convenient, but far enough away. While Gwen played, Trav went and bought some firewood, then headed back to the site with Daisy.We made a big fire, then cooked dinner and s'mores. Gwen loved the chocolate and the graham crackers, but didn't love the melty marshmallow.
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| Man make fire, hammer log! |
Friday dawned gorgeously, another cool sunny day. We headed to a local town that was having a large sidewalk sale event (all of main street's stores spilled out onto the sidewalks and offered deal, snacks, drinks, etc) to walk along the street and give the day a chance to warm up. Then it was back for some lunch and then some swimming! Gwen looked amazing, of course. I rocked some camping chic, as my sandals had picked the first day of camping to finally bite it. Nothing like clomping to the pool in your hiking boots!
Trav took Daisy swimming in the dog section of the lake, while we hit up the slightly warmer pool.
Afterwards we headed back to the campsite. We read Gwen her new comic book (a sidewalk sale purchase), ate an afternoon snack, and relaxed for a bit before heading for a walk around the campgrounds. We found two more playgrounds and tried them both!
Bedtime that night went MUCH smoother as we stuck closer to her normal routine, skipped the s'mores before bed, and she had expelled a lot more energy during the day!
Saturday we headed out in the morning to check out Prompton State Park, which was just down the road. I hadn't looked into it before we arrived, and it was a lot harder to figure out their trails, but we found a shorter one to play around on.
We hiked there for a bit, then on our way out stopped to enjoy the lake view.
There also happened to be a barefoot waterskiing competition going on! Gwen was enthralled.
We hit up a local BBQ pit for lunch, then back to the campsite for more swimming (Gwen and Trav), and relaxing (Daisy and I). Gwen and I went to the little arcade by the store, then came back and played cards for a while before bed.
Sunday it was time to clean up and head home. We'd packed up a lot of stuff the night before, so we dressed, brushed teeth, cleaned up the clothes and sleeping bags, then put down the tent. We got the car all packed and did a last walk through to make sure we had gotten everything (take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints!), and were at the office/store by 8:50 to check out and grab some breakfast to go. The ride home was easy, and we were home for lunch, with the whole afternoon to grab showers and do our 5 loads of laundry!!
Overall, it was a great mini-vacation. We enjoyed getting away, and reconnecting with nature. Gwen even exclaimed at one point that she wanted to live there. While the hiking wasn't as scenic as Rickett's Glen, we definitely enjoyed the extra amenities and the fact that there was more room between us and our camping neighbors. I think we'll definitely go there again.
7.15.2014
thank you
First off, thank you. Seriously. Your texts, emails, facebook messages, comments, etc have all been so appreciated. I can't tell you how nice it is to feel so supported! (I've only gotten one nasty comment, by someone who, of course, hid behind "anonymous"... but you can't please everyone!) I'm working on a Q&A post with all the questions you've sent, and I'll get that up soon.
In the meantime, a new week is upon us! A short one for me, as we leave to go camping on Thursday. I'm pretty damn excited to check out this new place (especially since its in the 70s there!).
Last weekend was nice enough. Saturday was just long and frustrating, we were all having an off day, Gwen especially. It was too hot and humid to go outside, endlessly frustrating, and we all had to retreat at one point to our own corners to cool off. Sunday was better. I had a date arranged to see a girlfriend and her baby, but Trav and Gwen kept busy, and had a nice time together. They did some shopping together for food supplies for our camping trip. I think Gwen liked having a purpose. It was a much better note to end the weekend on.
Now its another busy week ahead, and I'm going to get to it!!
In the meantime, a new week is upon us! A short one for me, as we leave to go camping on Thursday. I'm pretty damn excited to check out this new place (especially since its in the 70s there!).
Last weekend was nice enough. Saturday was just long and frustrating, we were all having an off day, Gwen especially. It was too hot and humid to go outside, endlessly frustrating, and we all had to retreat at one point to our own corners to cool off. Sunday was better. I had a date arranged to see a girlfriend and her baby, but Trav and Gwen kept busy, and had a nice time together. They did some shopping together for food supplies for our camping trip. I think Gwen liked having a purpose. It was a much better note to end the weekend on.
Now its another busy week ahead, and I'm going to get to it!!
7.11.2014
A Different Kind of Pregnancy Journey (Part III)
Part One here, and Two here.
After the disappointment of the negative test, it was nice to take a little mental break (not to mention a break from shots). Christmas and New Years were great days to "have off" too! I knew whatever the couple decided that I would be trying again. I really wanted to try with them, I wanted it to work for them! We had developed a bond at that point, and I wanted to continue on this path with them. If they had decided not to continue, I would have been rematched, but I'm so glad I didn't have to do that!
Things started moving again when I got my period in mid-February. I went in for my day 3 blood work, then started on birth control pills. The egg donor would be cycling in March, but this way I was 100% ready to go.
At the end of February I got a real treat when the parent's flew in for a few days and we got to meet over dinner! We all had a wonderful time, and I was so grateful for the opportunity to help these beautiful people.
I started Lupron again at the beginning of April and went for my first blood draw on the 11th. Everything looked good so we were really off and running. Transfer was slated for May 2nd, and we used the same protocol as the first time.
Things were pretty similar to the first time around, except smoother. I had a little fluid, but it remedied itself by the next ultrasound, so no push back of transfer needed. I never got sick of the Lupron shots the way I did the first time, and never had the welts. In fact, it didn't hit me until after it was already done that the night of my last Lupron shot was the last one! I still got a few headaches while I was on the Lupron and birth control pills together, but less then before, and that again resolved as soon as I started the estrogen patches.
The progesterone shots were fine too. Not anyone's favorite part, but easy and quick enough. Oh, and I managed to rotate my arms for blood draws well enough that I didn't end up having a tech roll my vein and have to dig through my arm to get blood like I did (twice!) the first time around either... hallelujah!
Even transfer day was easier. I felt very positive the whole time. I didn't overfill my bladder so badly, like I did the first time, which cut out the bruised bladder feeling afterwards. And I did nothing but lay around, watch TV, and read my way through a whole stack of magazines for the rest of the day. I did a ton of laying around the next day too.
After that was the waiting, which is always hard. But we kept ourselves distracted, which helped.
I had more symptoms this time... though symptoms mean nothing since the hormone that causes them is the same one I'm injecting myself with, so. Still I alternated between super tired and wanting to eat a small country, with a bit of weepiness and anger thrown in for good measure.
On Saturday the 10th, 8dp5dt (8 days post 5 day transfer... or about 13 days post ovulation), I took a home test. I just couldn't wait anymore. And thanks to jury duty, I also dreaded the idea of finding out either way, the results while sitting in a court house full of strangers. I was so glad I did:
I was so happy, though Trav and I agreed to wait to tell the parents until after the blood work on Monday. We wanted to see really good numbers before telling the parents. Well, good numbers we got! My Beta HCG was 583, Progesterone-20 Estradiol level -226. I sent them a picture of the positive test, and a recount of my numbers. The parents were over the moon. I was too!!
I had follow up blood work on Wednesday, and numbers continued to look great: Beta 1159, Progesterone - 27, Estradiol - 211. With such numbers, I started to wonder about twins.
Around this time I noticed that my poor butt muscles were sore all the time from the shots. I ended up getting a vicious bruise at one point and had to do all my shots on one side for a few days to give the bruised side a bit of time to heal. Ouch. Thankfully a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things!!
We scheduled more blood work and an ultrasound for the 22nd (5 weeks, 4 days). At that point we would be able to see what was growing in there!
I'll tell the truth. I was so nervous that morning. The anticipation of seeing that everything looked good was so hard to bear. Plus, I was of two minds... knowing that twins would be an amazing blessing for the parents, but knowing that it would be a harder pregnancy, and that it would mean that I couldn't birth at the Birth Center like I wanted to. Part of me was hoping for one, but more so, I was just hoping for spot on growth and a happy ultrasound. Well, I got that. The 22nd brought us the sight of one appropriately growing blob. :-)
My next appt was set for Monday, June 2nd (7w, 1d). During the wait a few things happened.... I got a few more "butt bumps" from oil and bruising, and I started up with the morning sickness (at 6w, 3d). It was mostly just nausea with food aversions in the morning, and for the most part would even out by the evenings. But sometimes it would be off and on nausea all day. It was always accompanied though, by the most amazing hunger when the nausea did subside! Like, mug someone for their cookie levels of hunger. Lots of extra snacks in my purse became a necessity! Crackers next to my bedside, consumed before even sitting up, helped immensely!
The appointment itself went great. I got to see the heartbeat, and my blood work looked good. I dropped down to 1 vivelle patch every other day at that point. After that I definitely noticed an increase in my awareness of smells. Sitting next to a guy on the train who smelled like bologna almost did me in.
My next appointment, a week later (June 9 - 8w, 1d) went great too. Baby was measuring spot on and had a good heart beat. At the end of that week I broke out the maternity jeans. Not because of baby bump, but because I was so damn bloated, I was tired of having to unbutton my pants every time I sat down! (I've basically been living in maxi dresses since.)
At my next appointment (June 16 - 9w, 1d) everything looked great, and my blood work came back looking great. I was able to completely stop the Vivelle patches.
At 10w, 1d I went in for my last blood work with the RE. Everything looked great, so I was able to stop the PIO injections, and I was released to my own doctor! A great day!
After that I was able to tell my boss, and with him in the know, able to really let the cat out of the bag!
I had my first regular OB appt at the Birth Center at the beginning of July (got to hear the heartbeat, which I recorded for the parents), and this morning I have the 12w NT scan/ultrasound.
And that brings us up to the present. I'm pregnant and taking it a day at a time, really trying to enjoy (or at least experience) every moment as my last pregnancy. This has been such a hard secret to keep, as it has been such a big, all consuming thing in my life for quite a while now! I'm so glad I can finally share it with the world. It has already been such an amazing experience, I can't wait to see what the next 7 months brings!
I will be sharing more freely now, but feel free to ask any questions you have!
After the disappointment of the negative test, it was nice to take a little mental break (not to mention a break from shots). Christmas and New Years were great days to "have off" too! I knew whatever the couple decided that I would be trying again. I really wanted to try with them, I wanted it to work for them! We had developed a bond at that point, and I wanted to continue on this path with them. If they had decided not to continue, I would have been rematched, but I'm so glad I didn't have to do that!
Things started moving again when I got my period in mid-February. I went in for my day 3 blood work, then started on birth control pills. The egg donor would be cycling in March, but this way I was 100% ready to go.
At the end of February I got a real treat when the parent's flew in for a few days and we got to meet over dinner! We all had a wonderful time, and I was so grateful for the opportunity to help these beautiful people.
I started Lupron again at the beginning of April and went for my first blood draw on the 11th. Everything looked good so we were really off and running. Transfer was slated for May 2nd, and we used the same protocol as the first time.
 |
| Lupron bruises. |
The progesterone shots were fine too. Not anyone's favorite part, but easy and quick enough. Oh, and I managed to rotate my arms for blood draws well enough that I didn't end up having a tech roll my vein and have to dig through my arm to get blood like I did (twice!) the first time around either... hallelujah!
Even transfer day was easier. I felt very positive the whole time. I didn't overfill my bladder so badly, like I did the first time, which cut out the bruised bladder feeling afterwards. And I did nothing but lay around, watch TV, and read my way through a whole stack of magazines for the rest of the day. I did a ton of laying around the next day too.
After that was the waiting, which is always hard. But we kept ourselves distracted, which helped.
I had more symptoms this time... though symptoms mean nothing since the hormone that causes them is the same one I'm injecting myself with, so. Still I alternated between super tired and wanting to eat a small country, with a bit of weepiness and anger thrown in for good measure.
On Saturday the 10th, 8dp5dt (8 days post 5 day transfer... or about 13 days post ovulation), I took a home test. I just couldn't wait anymore. And thanks to jury duty, I also dreaded the idea of finding out either way, the results while sitting in a court house full of strangers. I was so glad I did:
I was so happy, though Trav and I agreed to wait to tell the parents until after the blood work on Monday. We wanted to see really good numbers before telling the parents. Well, good numbers we got! My Beta HCG was 583, Progesterone-20 Estradiol level -226. I sent them a picture of the positive test, and a recount of my numbers. The parents were over the moon. I was too!!
I had follow up blood work on Wednesday, and numbers continued to look great: Beta 1159, Progesterone - 27, Estradiol - 211. With such numbers, I started to wonder about twins.
Around this time I noticed that my poor butt muscles were sore all the time from the shots. I ended up getting a vicious bruise at one point and had to do all my shots on one side for a few days to give the bruised side a bit of time to heal. Ouch. Thankfully a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things!!
We scheduled more blood work and an ultrasound for the 22nd (5 weeks, 4 days). At that point we would be able to see what was growing in there!
I'll tell the truth. I was so nervous that morning. The anticipation of seeing that everything looked good was so hard to bear. Plus, I was of two minds... knowing that twins would be an amazing blessing for the parents, but knowing that it would be a harder pregnancy, and that it would mean that I couldn't birth at the Birth Center like I wanted to. Part of me was hoping for one, but more so, I was just hoping for spot on growth and a happy ultrasound. Well, I got that. The 22nd brought us the sight of one appropriately growing blob. :-)
My next appt was set for Monday, June 2nd (7w, 1d). During the wait a few things happened.... I got a few more "butt bumps" from oil and bruising, and I started up with the morning sickness (at 6w, 3d). It was mostly just nausea with food aversions in the morning, and for the most part would even out by the evenings. But sometimes it would be off and on nausea all day. It was always accompanied though, by the most amazing hunger when the nausea did subside! Like, mug someone for their cookie levels of hunger. Lots of extra snacks in my purse became a necessity! Crackers next to my bedside, consumed before even sitting up, helped immensely!
The appointment itself went great. I got to see the heartbeat, and my blood work looked good. I dropped down to 1 vivelle patch every other day at that point. After that I definitely noticed an increase in my awareness of smells. Sitting next to a guy on the train who smelled like bologna almost did me in.
My next appointment, a week later (June 9 - 8w, 1d) went great too. Baby was measuring spot on and had a good heart beat. At the end of that week I broke out the maternity jeans. Not because of baby bump, but because I was so damn bloated, I was tired of having to unbutton my pants every time I sat down! (I've basically been living in maxi dresses since.)
At my next appointment (June 16 - 9w, 1d) everything looked great, and my blood work came back looking great. I was able to completely stop the Vivelle patches.
At 10w, 1d I went in for my last blood work with the RE. Everything looked great, so I was able to stop the PIO injections, and I was released to my own doctor! A great day!
After that I was able to tell my boss, and with him in the know, able to really let the cat out of the bag!
I had my first regular OB appt at the Birth Center at the beginning of July (got to hear the heartbeat, which I recorded for the parents), and this morning I have the 12w NT scan/ultrasound.
And that brings us up to the present. I'm pregnant and taking it a day at a time, really trying to enjoy (or at least experience) every moment as my last pregnancy. This has been such a hard secret to keep, as it has been such a big, all consuming thing in my life for quite a while now! I'm so glad I can finally share it with the world. It has already been such an amazing experience, I can't wait to see what the next 7 months brings!
I will be sharing more freely now, but feel free to ask any questions you have!
7.10.2014
A Different Kind of Pregnancy Journey (Part II)
Part One is Here.
Once all the legal stuff was figured out, and the final paperwork was submitted, we could really get down to it. I scheduled my doctors appointment for 10/11 and we were off and running. The following week I went in for a mock transfer and hysteroscopy, then started the meds the next day. We did a medicated cycle, so for those interested, I took: Lupron (10 units) with birth control overlapping the first 6 days, then Vivelle patches from days 15 on (changing every other day; 2 patches 2 times, 3 for 2, 4 until I started the PIO, then back down to 2), and finally Progesterone (1cc) from 5 days before transfer. I also took Medrol for 7 days total, starting the same day as the PIO. Transfer was on the 27th of November.
The hysteroscopy was... well, I would rather not have to do it again, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! It was crampy and uncomfortable, but not horribly painful.
As for the needles. I didn't think about it too much before the actual day. There was a little bit of trepidation, but it was very surreal at that point. The day of: I got everything sorted out and set up. I got the needle out and dose pulled, then sat down on the floor to do the actual injection. In that moment, I was so scared. I had asked some advice from friends beforehand (who had gone through fertility treatments), and they gave me great info: "[H]old the needle about 1/4" away from my skin while I was pinching it. I'd hold it for a second and take in a deep breath to make sure my hand was steady, and then as I exhaled slowly I would steadily push it in. I don't know how else to describe it other than steadily, not too quickly but not too slowly."
It was the perfect advice and I repeated it through in my head a few times before following it to a T. In the end, the Lupron shots weren't bad at all. A little blip of pain when the needle went in, and that was about it. But that first time. Oh boy!
The only side effects I seemed to notice with the Lupron were some occasional nausea at the beginning, and an occasional headache, but they were very mild. I did notice that my skin was not a fan of being wiped down with the alcohol pads, and I would get a little read and itchy for about 15 minutes afterwards. Also, starting about halfway through I would often get a welt around the injection site, but it was always gone quickly, so my nurse wasn't worried. Oh, and I was bruised a bit from poking a vein during injections sometimes.
The estrogen patches were fine. They were patches, so the use was easy enough.
The most annoying part of those was the sticky residue they would leave behind. They actually also seemed to help with the Lupron headaches, and nausea. Go figure.
Originally my transfer was set for the 20th, but when I went in for my ultrasound and blood work on the 15th, I had some fluid in my ute. Normal, not a worry, but they don't want it there when they do the transfer, so they had me stay on the Lupron/patches until we did another ultrasound on the 20th to see that the fluid had cleared. Then we were able to reset the transfer date, and I was able to move on to the Progesterone in oil.
Things were different with the PIO injections. Instead of doing it myself, in my thigh, with a tiny needle, it was Trav doing it in my butt muscle with a much thicker/longer needle. Eep. But like the Lupron, the anticipation of the first injection (so bad I thought I was going to throw up) was so so so much worse then the injection itself. Trav and I were both nervous, but again, taking advice from friends I iced the spot beforehand, and warmed the PIO before drawing it, and honestly hardly even felt it at all. The worst part was that my butt muscle would feel sore afterwards, like someone had punched me there. Totally doable though.
A hard part I wasn't anticipating beforehand was having to rotate the injections sites and trying to figure out where to do the next shot, that was within the small upper-outter quadrant injection area, but wasn't too close to the last injection. With the lupron shots, I had the whole thigh to work with, and the puncture from the needle was so so small, that it was easy to find new places to inject. With the PIO, the area allowed to be an injection site is much much smaller, and the puncture mark is much bigger. Plus, you generally don't want to be within an inch of a preview injection site for a week, so you don't end up with pockets of oil which don't want to absorb. So it involved some careful rotating of injection sites.
The Medrol was just a pill, easy to take but heinously bitter tasting! It was better if I took it with something strongly flavored, like OJ, and immediately chased it with some food (I normally ate a handful of nuts).
When transfer day rolled around, I was so excited. The parents and I were so hopeful and knew that the doc was taking every step to ensure the best outcome. Despite my faith that it was going to work, I did have a moment that morning when it really hit me that it might not work.
Transfer itself was easy, other then a sore bladder from having it so full for so long. After that we kept up with the PIO and patches, and waited for beta day.
Emotionally I thought I knew how to handle a two week wait for testing, but it was different this time. When Trav and I were trying, if it didn't work we were sad/disappointed, but we tried again the following month. If this didn't work, it was so different. The couple was pretty sure they would be done. I was their last shot and that was a little scary.
On the 6th I headed in for my blood draw.
I thought I knew how I would handle a negative, I was wrong again. We found out that afternoon that it had not worked. To say I was heartbroken would be an understatement.
Obviously it was worse for the couple. So they decided to take some time to think about their options.
After a little break, some number crunching, and some soul searching by the couple, they decided to move ahead with another attempt.
Part Three tomorrow!
Once all the legal stuff was figured out, and the final paperwork was submitted, we could really get down to it. I scheduled my doctors appointment for 10/11 and we were off and running. The following week I went in for a mock transfer and hysteroscopy, then started the meds the next day. We did a medicated cycle, so for those interested, I took: Lupron (10 units) with birth control overlapping the first 6 days, then Vivelle patches from days 15 on (changing every other day; 2 patches 2 times, 3 for 2, 4 until I started the PIO, then back down to 2), and finally Progesterone (1cc) from 5 days before transfer. I also took Medrol for 7 days total, starting the same day as the PIO. Transfer was on the 27th of November.
 |
| Have meds, will travel. |
As for the needles. I didn't think about it too much before the actual day. There was a little bit of trepidation, but it was very surreal at that point. The day of: I got everything sorted out and set up. I got the needle out and dose pulled, then sat down on the floor to do the actual injection. In that moment, I was so scared. I had asked some advice from friends beforehand (who had gone through fertility treatments), and they gave me great info: "[H]old the needle about 1/4" away from my skin while I was pinching it. I'd hold it for a second and take in a deep breath to make sure my hand was steady, and then as I exhaled slowly I would steadily push it in. I don't know how else to describe it other than steadily, not too quickly but not too slowly."
It was the perfect advice and I repeated it through in my head a few times before following it to a T. In the end, the Lupron shots weren't bad at all. A little blip of pain when the needle went in, and that was about it. But that first time. Oh boy!The only side effects I seemed to notice with the Lupron were some occasional nausea at the beginning, and an occasional headache, but they were very mild. I did notice that my skin was not a fan of being wiped down with the alcohol pads, and I would get a little read and itchy for about 15 minutes afterwards. Also, starting about halfway through I would often get a welt around the injection site, but it was always gone quickly, so my nurse wasn't worried. Oh, and I was bruised a bit from poking a vein during injections sometimes.
The estrogen patches were fine. They were patches, so the use was easy enough.
The most annoying part of those was the sticky residue they would leave behind. They actually also seemed to help with the Lupron headaches, and nausea. Go figure.
Originally my transfer was set for the 20th, but when I went in for my ultrasound and blood work on the 15th, I had some fluid in my ute. Normal, not a worry, but they don't want it there when they do the transfer, so they had me stay on the Lupron/patches until we did another ultrasound on the 20th to see that the fluid had cleared. Then we were able to reset the transfer date, and I was able to move on to the Progesterone in oil.
 |
| Lupron bottom, PIO top (source) |
 |
| The upper part of this area. |
The Medrol was just a pill, easy to take but heinously bitter tasting! It was better if I took it with something strongly flavored, like OJ, and immediately chased it with some food (I normally ate a handful of nuts).
When transfer day rolled around, I was so excited. The parents and I were so hopeful and knew that the doc was taking every step to ensure the best outcome. Despite my faith that it was going to work, I did have a moment that morning when it really hit me that it might not work.
Transfer itself was easy, other then a sore bladder from having it so full for so long. After that we kept up with the PIO and patches, and waited for beta day.
Emotionally I thought I knew how to handle a two week wait for testing, but it was different this time. When Trav and I were trying, if it didn't work we were sad/disappointed, but we tried again the following month. If this didn't work, it was so different. The couple was pretty sure they would be done. I was their last shot and that was a little scary.
On the 6th I headed in for my blood draw.
I thought I knew how I would handle a negative, I was wrong again. We found out that afternoon that it had not worked. To say I was heartbroken would be an understatement.
Obviously it was worse for the couple. So they decided to take some time to think about their options.
After a little break, some number crunching, and some soul searching by the couple, they decided to move ahead with another attempt.
Part Three tomorrow!
7.09.2014
A Different Kind of Pregnancy Journey (Part 1)
Today I'm 12 1/2 weeks pregnant. It's not Trav's baby. And he's thrilled.
It's not my baby either. And I'm also thrilled.
Trav and I are helping a really wonderful couple become parents through surrogacy.
Let me start at the beginning (sorry, this will be long). A year after Gwen was born, after Trav and I had decided that we were content and fulfilled with one child, I brought up the idea that one day I would really like to be a surrogate. I wanted to help another couple become parents, and get to experience that joy, while having the chance to do pregnancy again, but without adding to our own family. Travis was supportive from the get-go. At that point though, it was still a much in the future thing.
Fast forward to last year, right around Gwen's birthday (Feb 2013), and I brought up the idea again, but as a soon thing. Travis was still supportive, and we starting talking about some more of the specifics. He blew me away by saying that his only caveat, was that he still wanted Gwen to be able to self-wean! :-) Done!
Come mid-April and I finally knew in my heart that it was a NOW thing, and (with Trav's blessing) I filled out the form to get me started on my surrogacy journey. Only two days later I had my first phone conversation with the head of the surrogacy organization. We discussed some of my form answers, talked about procedures and next steps. Within a few days I had a couples profile in my email.
We were quickly matched. For the sake of their privacy, I will refer to the couple as the parents only, but whatever I call them, they are wonderful, sweet people, that we are so happy to help! The following week I got a copy of my prenatal records, a letter from my doctor certifying my physical readiness for pregnancy, and a pap. The parents and I started emailing.
By the end of May, the agency agreement was signed, by mid-June I had my IUD removed, we had our psych eval., and our initial consult with the RE.
I ended up getting my period that night, so I was back 3 days later for my 3-day ultrasound and blood work. Unfortunately due to just having my IUD out, my progesterone was a little high, so we had to wait a month.
In the meantime we got the rest of the paperwork squared away, and continued to email with the parents to get to know them better. After my next period, and good numbers on my blood work I went on the pill while we signed some legal papers, and then waited for the final pieces to fall into place, which happened in the first week of October. Happy Fall indeed!
I will take a moment to say, if this is something you are considering, I highly encourage it. Its not for everyone, and there are lots of things to consider, but it is so fulfilling. I will warn you though, that is is also frustrating at times, and something you need lots of patience for! Obviously every situation is different, but I found the first part of the process to be very fast, slow, fast, slow, fast, slow... super busy getting things done, just to hurry up and wait! Totally worth it in the end, but sometimes frustrating. Patience is key.
This is getting long, so...
Part 2 coming tomorrow: getting into the medical stuff!
It's not my baby either. And I'm also thrilled.
Trav and I are helping a really wonderful couple become parents through surrogacy.
Let me start at the beginning (sorry, this will be long). A year after Gwen was born, after Trav and I had decided that we were content and fulfilled with one child, I brought up the idea that one day I would really like to be a surrogate. I wanted to help another couple become parents, and get to experience that joy, while having the chance to do pregnancy again, but without adding to our own family. Travis was supportive from the get-go. At that point though, it was still a much in the future thing.
Fast forward to last year, right around Gwen's birthday (Feb 2013), and I brought up the idea again, but as a soon thing. Travis was still supportive, and we starting talking about some more of the specifics. He blew me away by saying that his only caveat, was that he still wanted Gwen to be able to self-wean! :-) Done!
Come mid-April and I finally knew in my heart that it was a NOW thing, and (with Trav's blessing) I filled out the form to get me started on my surrogacy journey. Only two days later I had my first phone conversation with the head of the surrogacy organization. We discussed some of my form answers, talked about procedures and next steps. Within a few days I had a couples profile in my email.
We were quickly matched. For the sake of their privacy, I will refer to the couple as the parents only, but whatever I call them, they are wonderful, sweet people, that we are so happy to help! The following week I got a copy of my prenatal records, a letter from my doctor certifying my physical readiness for pregnancy, and a pap. The parents and I started emailing.
By the end of May, the agency agreement was signed, by mid-June I had my IUD removed, we had our psych eval., and our initial consult with the RE.
I ended up getting my period that night, so I was back 3 days later for my 3-day ultrasound and blood work. Unfortunately due to just having my IUD out, my progesterone was a little high, so we had to wait a month.
In the meantime we got the rest of the paperwork squared away, and continued to email with the parents to get to know them better. After my next period, and good numbers on my blood work I went on the pill while we signed some legal papers, and then waited for the final pieces to fall into place, which happened in the first week of October. Happy Fall indeed!
I will take a moment to say, if this is something you are considering, I highly encourage it. Its not for everyone, and there are lots of things to consider, but it is so fulfilling. I will warn you though, that is is also frustrating at times, and something you need lots of patience for! Obviously every situation is different, but I found the first part of the process to be very fast, slow, fast, slow, fast, slow... super busy getting things done, just to hurry up and wait! Totally worth it in the end, but sometimes frustrating. Patience is key.
This is getting long, so...
Part 2 coming tomorrow: getting into the medical stuff!
7.07.2014
impromptu trip - long weekend at the Cape!
Happy 4th of July!!
Since Gwen and I were already off on Thursday, Trav went into work at the crack of dawn, and was able to leave by 2. Gwen and I picked him off and we headed up to Cape Cod. We knew his parents (his mom especially) was sad to not get to see Gwen (and us) until August. So we decided to make the most of the long weekend. The drive up was LONG. We were clearly not the only ones making the most of the weekend, but we got there and got settled in Thursday night.
Friday we got to visiting.
Friday was a bit overcast and chilly (which didn't keep Gwen out of the water!), because of the impending hurricane! By evening the sky had opened up and we were getting sheets of rain with horrendous winds. But we were in Cape Cod, so we were happy anyway!
Saturday however, was the polar opposite. It dawned chilly, but quickly became a beautiful day!
We read, and relaxed, ate amazing food, and spent hours at the beach. That evening there were some fireworks over the lake.
Sunday was another beautiful day. We got ready to go, then relaxed for a few hours with Megan, Andy, and Wyatt who were arriving that day.
The cousins were so adorably excited to see each other!
It was hard to leave, but we headed home around 11. It was a long, long drive home. We didn't get to our house (after picking up Trav's car from his work) until almost 9pm! Overall it was a wonderful weekend though, and an amazing impromptu trip.
I can't even tell you how excited we all are now for our full time in Cape Cod in August!!
Since Gwen and I were already off on Thursday, Trav went into work at the crack of dawn, and was able to leave by 2. Gwen and I picked him off and we headed up to Cape Cod. We knew his parents (his mom especially) was sad to not get to see Gwen (and us) until August. So we decided to make the most of the long weekend. The drive up was LONG. We were clearly not the only ones making the most of the weekend, but we got there and got settled in Thursday night.
Friday we got to visiting.
 |
| Gwen and Uncle Scott |
 |
| Gwen and cousin Brittany. |
Saturday however, was the polar opposite. It dawned chilly, but quickly became a beautiful day!
 |
| A girl and her dog. |
 |
| Beach time! |
We read, and relaxed, ate amazing food, and spent hours at the beach. That evening there were some fireworks over the lake.
Sunday was another beautiful day. We got ready to go, then relaxed for a few hours with Megan, Andy, and Wyatt who were arriving that day.
 |
| Never tire of this view! |
 |
| Catching minnows with Uncle Andy. |
The cousins were so adorably excited to see each other!
 |
| Gwen and Wyatt. |
It was hard to leave, but we headed home around 11. It was a long, long drive home. We didn't get to our house (after picking up Trav's car from his work) until almost 9pm! Overall it was a wonderful weekend though, and an amazing impromptu trip.
I can't even tell you how excited we all are now for our full time in Cape Cod in August!!
7.02.2014
july
Now that July is here, someone really seems to have turned on the heat. I'm so glad that I have Thursday and Friday off, and that we are planning a little impromptu trip away. I'm ready to veg out, cool down, and enjoy a four-day weekend.
Things have picked up here. I have big things to announce next week, and in the meantime, all my free time is being eaten up by my Lactation Educator Counselor course which started this week. I'm excited for all I'm going to learn, but man is it going to be a busy few months.
What are you holiday plans?
Things have picked up here. I have big things to announce next week, and in the meantime, all my free time is being eaten up by my Lactation Educator Counselor course which started this week. I'm excited for all I'm going to learn, but man is it going to be a busy few months.
What are you holiday plans?
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