sunset musings

I drove home last night, with the sunset in my rearview mirror, tired and pumped and exhilarated after a wonderful yoga class (with my very favorite Apoc). Heading home to my family, all I could think was why can't all nights be like this? Its the kick in the tail I need to get my yoga home practice, struggling since Disney and the ensuing work craziness, back on track.

I thought about what made it such an amazing class, and the answer wasn't anything profound. The class was playful. It was hard, but fun, with a kick ass pose which I hadn't tried before. But the biggest thing, was that at the beginning of class I had made the mindful decision to really try everything, to push through when it got tough, and to commit to this practice even if I was sore and tired.

It is all about trying. How many times have you seen someone do a pose/move/act and said, "Whoa, that was great. I can't do that." Its so simple, so obvious, and so elusive... of course you can't, if you don't TRY to! I can decided to try though; to really push through the doubt, to accept that it will be physically hard and a little uncomfortable, but to still give it my all. You don't know unless you try.

It can be hard. Really committing to trying can be a very vulnerable place to be. There is the worry, what if I give my all and I still can't do it? What if I try, and I fail, and others see that? To that, it takes a practiced effort, but you have to say Who Cares?!

In the end you aren't competing against anyone in the class, you aren't trying to be better then anyone else. You are competing against the person you were yesterday, in the hopes that today you can be a little better. You are trying to see if you can give your best, whatever that means in the moment.

Last night that meant pushing harder into my leg poses, knowing that my legs get tired easily, but pushing through anyway, straight to the end. It meant trying Dragonfly on the second side, even after the first side was a complete fail. And last night, it meant getting into Dragonfly... if only for a second or two, then falling on my buns with the biggest smile on my face.