ways that I'm weird, that maybe aren't so weird

1. I find myself thinking about death and loss at weird moments. Happy, sad, reflective... I find myself thinking about how things would be different without so-and-so around, or what it will be like one day when "they" die. I'm not a particularly morbid person, but I always felt like such a freak for doing that. I've recently read not one, but two other bloggers who do the same (Sometimes Sweet, for sure, and I think Adventures in Babywearing, though I can't find the entry right now).

2. I'm a "yearner." Fresh country air, a house surrounded by woods, a job I truly love... all are things that I yearn for consistently, but haven't yet found a way to have. I'll get there, I hope; and in the meantime, I try to focus on the wonderful things I'm surrounded by. I know I'm not the only one who spends time yearning though.

Mostly, I long with every fiber of my being to make a positive impact, a real difference. It rides below my skin like a drumbeat, and lately leaves me jumpy and frustrated because I'm just not there. I read a post this morning that just drove it home even more how much I want to "leave this world better then I found it." Hopefully I'm not alone in that one either!