I'm sitting here at my desk, drinking some hot chocolate, checking my email while waiting for others to arrive. I didn't get enough sleep last night, Gwen woke three times, put herself back to sleep once. The alarm this morning was hard, and I had to hit the snooze button twice before I could get myself to sit up.
Its not just the tiredness though. I feel sort of dreamy today, ghost-like. I think its partly the passage I was just reading in the Time Travelers Wife, partly the wistfulness of the season, partly the odd dreams I had last night (which lead to odd daydreams). Getting off the train, I drifted into work, one foot falling infront of the other, in a way that can only be done when you have walked the same path hundreds of times before. I felt sort of wispy and insubstatial, like a memory that could be blown away in the breeze; and I was a bit surprised when I shook myself and realized that I was at work already.
I wish I were still outside right now. Its beautiful out, a perfect breeze, mild temp... but its going to get hot later. And all this silliness will burn away in the heat, and I'll make my way through another busy, too full day of work before heading home for 5 minutes of quiet, then an hour or so with my sweet babe. It has been so busy lately, I had a blogger window open all day yesterday, but just never got a moment to pause and write anything. The evenings are my balm.
Honestly, rereading the above it all sounds so much more depressing then it is. I'm not sad at all. Maybe a bit wistful or melancholy, but not sad or depressed. I have so much to be thankful for lately, and I appreciate every bit of it. My sweet babe, my wonderful husband, the impending season change, our first crock pot of beef stew that was waiting for me - full and bubbly - when I got home last night. Our pup too, who is just so good.
For now though, I get back to work.
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~ Meegs