baby its *hot* outside...

This was from 4 pm...

And its still about 96, at 9 o'clock. Hot!


I've been trying to think of how to describe the way I've been feeling lately, and was therefore completely amazed to read this on Cotton Socks the other day:

I used to believe that I was destined for great things in life. That I would likely do something important and big and amazing.

[...] I think that I've felt an odd discontent lately. Something I've been unable to really pin down. In many ways, I've been more relaxed, more comfortable. And yet. . . a restlessness, a stirring.

I want to find that destiny, I want to fulfill it. I want to do something that matters, something important.

And I guess I'm re-evaluating what that is.

I don't think it will ever be big, or splashy, or even really note-worthy. But if I can do better in the little things . . . won't that have the greatest impact?

I've been happier and more fulfilled with Gwen then I can explain, but at the same time... I've felt so off lately. There is so much I want to do, but I don't know where to start or how to accomplish these things. Especially now when the most important thing in my life is raising my little girl. I don't want to take time away from her right now to go back to school (not that we have the money for that anyway), to train for something physical (not that I have the extra energy for that!), etc.

So I'm trying to re-evaluate. Look at what I want to accomplish and realize that most of it is not going to happen right now, but that doesn't mean it never will. Right now I am just going to try to focus on the little things and focus on being the best mom possible... and then see what else I can work in there as time goes on. Being a mother is important, its the most important thing I'll ever do...

Eventually I'll figure out how to become greener in a way that fits with our life, how to find fulfillment in my job... and maybe even transform it into a career, how to get my body back to something that feels fit and healthy. For know, I guess I just have to keep telling myself that I'm trying my hardest, and for now that is good enough.

Even though it doesn't feel good enough.


Anyway, enough of that.
To end on a nicer note, here are some cute pictures of Trav and Gwen playing this weekend.

They are so adorable together.

The rest of our weekend was lazy. Sunday we did almost nothing... a quick shopping trip just to get out. Monday we went to the Pop Shop, just over the bridge in NJ. They have dozens of grilled cheeses, real soda made from syrup, breakfast all day, and tons of other great stuff. I got the Edison grilled cheese. Mmm.... so good. Otherwise, it was all about staying cool.

And on that note, I'm going to bed in our air conditioned bedroom... night all.