4 months

Dear Gwenivere,
Today you are four months old and I can't believe that a 1/3 of a year is gone! How time flies. I almost wish I could put on the breaks and make you grow slower!

This month has been busy... we started it with getting your pictures done by Brandy, had a party for your daddy (who turned 30), traveled for a memorial and a babyshower, not to mention the whole work/daycare/time together at home balance we have been figuring out. I think we've been doing pretty well, and I adore every moment I get to spend with you... relishing your smiles, grins, and coos. There are still some mornings... especially Mondays, after a nice weekend together, when I tear up watching your Daddy's car drive away with you. But you have been doing very well at daycare, so that makes it easier.

Daddy has started dressing you in the mornings... I pick out the outfit the night before, but he picks the right socks. And he has turned that into an artform, making cute outfits even cuter. He is such a girl's daddy, and it is so neat to see. You are his sweetest girl, as you should be, and I love to watch the two of you. Or better yet, listening from the other room as he talks to you while getting you dressed... it makes me grin. It has been great seeing how much closer you guys are getting now that you have time together in the mornings, and since he is the one to pick you up from daycare.

This month you've learned some new things, like rolling over from your back to your tummy, which you do almost every time we put you on your back now. And you're really starting to lift your upper body in little baby push ups. Very fun until you decide that you no longer want to be on your belly and scream to be turned.

You have also started this hilarious thing I call the vampire... where you are so eager to get kisses, that you sort of dive forward at the person holding you, mouth open so wide that you are scrunching your nose, and make this "aehhh" noise. It looks like you are preparing to bite someone's neck (hence the vampire), or maybe eat my nose. Either way, its darn adorable!

And you aren't the only one that's learning. Mama has picked up some new things too... little bits of wisdom, like:

- See the big picture: No one is perfect in getting the exact balance between work and family everyday, or getting a balanced plate at every meal, etc etc. But if you can look at the big picture, the full day or week or month, and say that I think I struck a good balance and got what I needed, well that is a success.

- Give 100% at work... then leave it there, and come home and give 100% there too.

These bits have helped me to not be so hard on myself, and have really helped me to enjoy the days more.

Your joy is just so contagious though, and it makes early mornings or tired evenings easier. How can I not be thrilled to see your smiling face, even if it is 5:30am at the time. I have never ever been a morning person, but suddenly waking up then really doesn't seem so horrible. And seeing you grin at me at the end of the day just washes away any frustrations that have built up until then.

Not that it is always sunshine and puppies and rainbows. You have your frustrating days too... when you get overly tired and fussy, and you are a big crankypants. Days when putting you to bed takes 1.5 hours, and you still wake 30 minutes later. But even on those days, I mostly get frustrated because I just want you to feel better! And it makes me sad that I can't always make you content.

As for sleep, I hope I'm not jinxing us... but you have been sleeping wonderfully! You go down (in your crib) anytime between 7:50 and 8:40, and sleep there until between 5:15 and 6 (normally 5:30). Its been wonderful!

Gwenie, you are my beautiful, smiley girl. You are my fiery redhead. You are my sweet love. And I'm blessed beyond words to have you.

Love and kisses,
Mama