crap

Got the bill for our ill-fated ultrasound. $51 for them to tell me my baby was dead. It seems cruel, and I'm dreading getting the d&e bill (next week sometime?).

Read about a friend having her first ultrasound and am so thrilled for her. But I cried while I read about her crying when hearing the heartbeat for the first time... and only half the tears were for her. Will I ever just be able to look forward to an ultrasound? Or will they all be completely nerve racking? That bill was bad timing.

My desk is completely covered in papers, and I have so much to get through. Happy for the distraction today and hoping it will make me more productive. Still looking forward to the weekend.

See my new button on the left for Stellan... poor little babe.