normal?

We're trying to keep doing things normally... which is hard when nothing feels normal right now. We don't want to be around people who know, because we don't really want to talk about it. But we don't want to be around people who don't know, because we don't want to have them wondering why we're acting weird, or off. We're spending lots of time with just the two of us.

Things aren't normal right now though. Technically I'm still pregnant. D&E is scheduled for Wednesday. I'm nervous. I just want that part to be over with.

But we did what we were already planning to do this weekend. Took Daisy to the vet for her booster shots (she's 33 lbs now!), drove up to watch my brother perform in his last high school musical (Charlie Brown), went grocery shopping. We're trying to find humor in the rest of life... keep ourselves laughing so that we don't just cry. We've both done plenty of that too.

Daisy is our sunshine right now...




She is so sweet and wonderful. She snuggles with us, and forces us to keep a normal schedule. You can't wallow away the day when you have a pup who needs to use the bathroom, and has plenty of energy to use up. We are so glad to have her, so lucky to have each other, so blessed to have our amazing friends. I don't know what I would have done without Jan's commiserating, Lauren's morning text messages, Babs' tears for us. Everyone's words and prayers. And a few blog posts. They all mean so much.

Tomorrow is my first day back at work since we found out. I want to go back. Have a "normal" day. But I'm worried the tears will show up, worried I won't be able to handle it. I guess I'll just have to take it as it comes. And close my door for a good cry if need be.

One day at a time.