not so easy

I'm having a good day... its supposed to be warm and sunny, which is great. I'm wearing my new lovely dress, and feeling natural and pretty. But I'm having a morose morning, thinking about things that aren't easy.

There are the little things: like that it isn't easy staying off your ankle when you work in the city and are used to walking anywhere. But I've done my best so far, and I think its really paid off. Slowly getting better... hoping it will be enough.

There are the everyday things: like finding the time to fit in everything you want to do, and everything you need to do.

Then there are the big things: like the blogs I read about lost babies... Busted Babymaker (which is part of my daily read list), and Our Own Creation/Sweet Zoe which I just found today following a link from BB. I get sad and scared, and think "what would i do if that happened to me?" and "would I be able to handle it?" I always wonder about those big things... and right now, its baby things because that is what I'm reading and thinking about. What happens if we have trouble getting pregnant? Trouble staying pregnant? And on the flip side, obviously I'd be thrilled, but would I feel guilty if we would get pregnant right away? Would those I've grown close to, following their stories online, feel happy for me... or frustrated that it couldn't be so easy for them? Sometimes I overthink things. But it is scary. sad. painful.


In anycase, it is a beautiful day, so I'm trying not to think about these things. Instead I'm working on all the new things that have come up at work, looking up "warm up" exercises for my ankle, and enjoying the sun. That's all for now loves.

People are often unreasonable and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may try to cheat you.
Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

For, you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

~Mother Theresa