rain, rain, go away

It's still raining. Warmer now, with a high today of about 78*... but at this point still chilly and damp out. This morning my Local on the 8s (weather channel) actually skipped its normal info and showed me doplar radar images from all over the country. Rain everywhere! This weekend is supposed to be back in the 90s though, and I'm sure I'll be missing this!


So, the past few days have been crazy. Even since before my last post, although I wanted to cover all the fun things in that one. If you are squimish, or don't want to read about women's things... skip this section... head down to the bolded, "On another much fluffier note".

Yesterday I took a home pregnancy test. I knew before I took the test, without a doubt, that I was not pregnant... but seeing as today is day 40 of this cycle and I wanted to give the doc a call, I knew I had to test (they would ask, and I wanted to be able to answer). You probably wonder why I'm talking about this, who wants to read it, right? Well, I wanted to write about it because, to be honest, even though I can't wait to have kids, those were the longest five minutes of my life. And my brain was on fast forward the entire time, so many things flash through your head at that point because in truth, you can never be 100% sure (well, unless you are chaste!).
I have never thought about more things in any five minute period then I did right then. There are (in no particular order) the selfish things: I want to drink in Ireland! And we would have to cancel our trip to Cabo! Then there are the baby-centered selfish things: This is NOT the way I want a pregnancy to start off. I want to have more saved up towards rainy day fund, future house fund, be able to buy the baby some furniture for-pete's-sake fund. And I want to have more done to the house so we can fit a baby! Finally there are the Parentally Passionate things: It's scary to think about bringing a child into this world full of hate, war, disease, poverty, etc. Trust me that those things aren't going to stop me from having kids, but I want to have a plan of attack in mind first (aka, how will I raise my child, how will I address these issues), before the whole pregnancy thing.

The test, just to clarify, was a very clear negative.

The doctor was reassuring... very normal, happens to lots of women (especially after they go off the pill), periods should even out after 6 months. Then she says not to worry, unless I go three months without a period... Three Months?! Are you kidding me?! I would go broke buying home pregnancy tests by the case! Travis would have a stomach ulcer and a nervous twitch! Three months my ass. We'll see what happens.

I guess that's all I really wanted to say about that... but its just crazy to think that one little blue line could change your life so completely. It's crazy what pops into your head when confronted with the fact that there is always the possibility. We do want to have kids, but just not yet. We want to be ready, really ready, for them first. Able to provide the best that we can for them, and probably have better paying jobs!
And yes, we want to able to be greedy for a little while longer! Plan things around international travel and go drinking with friends on the weekend. I don't think that's a horrible thing to want at 25. In any case...



Oh another much fluffier note, I was thinking about my declutter plan, and about my closet (the next item on my list) and I think I really need to do a wardrobe overhaul. Susan is one of my inspirations for this decision.
I have too many clothes for one. So there would be a strict two-out for one-in policy. And I would want all practical, non-trendy/so-hot-right-now items. Things that are comfortable, well made, and that will last... not that will go out of style in a year. I have so many items right now that just sit in my closet because they only go with one or two other things... some shirts that only look right if worn with certain pants for example. No more of that.

What would I get? Well there is this sweater (which I like because it is simple!), a new pair or two of work pants, and possibly a pair of ballet flats (because they are simple, and comfortable and I don't want to wear one pair of shoes and one pair of boots alllllll winter). And then maybe this tweed hobo... because I'm a purse-aholic and it's just awesome.
I'm also looking for a new pair of sandals to replace the ones I have now, which I've pretty much warn through, and which will probably snap anyday now. So far these are the top choice.


Well, how's that for random? Okay, I have to get back to work... I have so much to get done!! I feel better to get all that out though!