I haven't felt like writing much lately. Just not too much to say at the moment. We've been doing much of the same stuff. The only different thing was Megan's Bridal Shower this past weekend. It worked, we surprised her! It was a good time and she enjoyed herself, which was the most important part. I wil have pictures, but haven't had the time/energy to upload them yet. Sunday we had Ro & Pat for dinner. Otherwise, it is work and more work, and trying not to melt in the heat. Time has been passing quickly though, June is more then half over.
I've been having some of my pangs of depression lately, but I've been doing pretty good with trying to "talk myself down" and not let them get ahold of me. Last night I ended up bursting into tears when Travis and I were both in bed getting ready to go to sleep. Travis got upset and was asking what was wrong, but I really didn't know how to answer him. There wasn't really anything wrong... I was just sad. Another big thing for me right now is self esteem issues. I feel unattractive, and like I am getting no where with my attempts to get into a little better shape. Travis seems to think that I've lost a little bit of bum, and maybe he's right, but I just can't see it! Plus it doesn't help that last week I broke out more then I have since high school! This week its starting to get better, but my forehead still looks like a relief map of the Rocky Mountains, and I don't know why. You think trying to eat better would help my skin. Combine that with my babyfine hair, which won't do anything I want, and looks frizzy or limp on any given day... and forget not washing it everyday in this heat or else it looks like such a bad oil slick that you might expect Exxon to send workers to try and save the baby seals... well, its just enough to make me feel like sh*t. (I am all about the illustrative writing today.) Honestly, I know everyone is most critical of themselves, but its hard to see myself otherwise right now. I should be feeling better. I should be losing some weight, or at least gaining a better shape... and I think the fact that I'm not (or at least, that I can't see it yet) is making me feel 20x worse about my body. All other areas suffer exponentially.
Okay, well enough of that happy-go-lucky stuff. Only 45 more minutes to get through and then it is time to go home... and Travis is home tonight!
I've been having some of my pangs of depression lately, but I've been doing pretty good with trying to "talk myself down" and not let them get ahold of me. Last night I ended up bursting into tears when Travis and I were both in bed getting ready to go to sleep. Travis got upset and was asking what was wrong, but I really didn't know how to answer him. There wasn't really anything wrong... I was just sad. Another big thing for me right now is self esteem issues. I feel unattractive, and like I am getting no where with my attempts to get into a little better shape. Travis seems to think that I've lost a little bit of bum, and maybe he's right, but I just can't see it! Plus it doesn't help that last week I broke out more then I have since high school! This week its starting to get better, but my forehead still looks like a relief map of the Rocky Mountains, and I don't know why. You think trying to eat better would help my skin. Combine that with my babyfine hair, which won't do anything I want, and looks frizzy or limp on any given day... and forget not washing it everyday in this heat or else it looks like such a bad oil slick that you might expect Exxon to send workers to try and save the baby seals... well, its just enough to make me feel like sh*t. (I am all about the illustrative writing today.) Honestly, I know everyone is most critical of themselves, but its hard to see myself otherwise right now. I should be feeling better. I should be losing some weight, or at least gaining a better shape... and I think the fact that I'm not (or at least, that I can't see it yet) is making me feel 20x worse about my body. All other areas suffer exponentially.
Okay, well enough of that happy-go-lucky stuff. Only 45 more minutes to get through and then it is time to go home... and Travis is home tonight!
The only guy I know that likes small bums has a boyfriend with a very small bum.
ReplyDeleteLol, Barry... no worries, this ass will never be small!! Its just not in the genes (or jeans). I like my big booty... I'm just hoping to get it a little more toned. Along with the rest of my hot bod. ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou are crazy. I think that you are great just the way you are. I know you yell at me for feeling the same way about my weight but come on you are sooo skinny. Any ways I just had to tell you that I think you are hot. Love you.
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