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6.27.2005

life's uncertainties

It's funny how life is full of so many uncertainties... I have two blogs that I read on a regular basis, one with a women who has MS, and one by the husband of a women with leukemia. They were both just regular people with regular lives, and dreams of what their futures would hold... and not neither knows what tomorrow will bring, let alone whether they will be able to complete all their "life to dos". But no one really knows.
Life might feel more uncertain when you add in an illness like that, but the truth is, it is just as uncertain for everyone else. I don't know what tomorrow brings for me, for travis, for my family and friends. I could live to be 100 years old and complete every single one of my "to do before i die" items... or I could get hit by a car crossing the street tomorrow, and that's it. It's a strange feeling. There is so much I want to do in life, and while I have some control over it... honestly it's not up to me. I don't know how much I like that. But it doesn't matter if I like it or not... that's just how it is.
I suppose that's why you are always encouraged to live everyday as fully as possible. But its such a struggle to reconcile the differences between living my days how I would like, and living them in such a way that I can make a living and support myself.
"We cannot change yesterday. We can only make the most of today, and look with hope toward tomorrow."
Every day is a new day and you just have to make the most of it.
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Had a great weekend though... my Babwa and I. We didn't get to see the damn movie, but that's another story all together. But we had plenty of fun... and on Sunday before I took her home we went to David's Bridal for a little. I tried on some wedding dresses, and Babs tried on some Bridesmaid dresses. It was great.

On another note:
I'm very excited that June is almost over. It was a good month, and a lot of fun... but I'm excited with all that is coming up in July. Starting off with the weekend of the 4th, down in DC with my Uncle Wray, then having my parents down (weekend of my mom's birthday - 17th), then Cape Cod the last week of July... and coming home with our new puppy!! :-) That puppy is a whole other can of worms. I'm so excited to get it, but we are having trouble finding a dog walker that we can afford, and one that we aren't worried about flaking out on us. So wish us luck on that one.
And, of course, keeping praying that God will rain down a wedding from Heaven. Lol.

Okay, I have to get back to work... we have a big lecture today, and I'm needed! :-)

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