Monday monday...

Well it's Monday morning... blah. Probably my least favorite time of the week. I'm still tired, and I'm missing the weekend which just ended. I really don't want to do work. Well really, since our network is currently down... there isn't much work I can do! I can bum around on the internet, but that's about it.
So I've come here to write, just as I have many times in the past week or so, but everytime I've just sat here and stared at the cursor... blinking... just waiting for me to give it something to write. And everytime I've drawn a blank. That cursor is full of so much expectation... and I just didn't think I could know what I needed to say, or how to say it, so that I could fulfill all that expectation. So I would logout and surf on, and that was that.

But here I am again... and at least this time I've given it a start. It comes a little easier after that. Not much, but a little. Your fingers just want to keep typing, and your eyes long for the words that you know are going to pop up onto the screen.

So I could talk about the weekend... about going to Willy's, about the ups and downs just in these two days regarding house searches, about going to see 'Hide and Seek', and about cooking yummy meals and making that great salad that Travis' mom made for us. But I don't want to.

Or I could talk about my longing for the next two years to just be done with, so that I could wake up, and be in the house that I own with my husband... and not have to worry about all the planning that is needed for both of those big events. And I could talk about how I do enjoying trying to figure out the details, but that I am completely overwhelmed with them at the same time. But I don't want to.

I could talk about my renewed faith in God that has come about almost mystically in the past week and a half or so... and about how it makes me feel so much better about life in some ways, but so much more confused in others. But I don't want to talk about that either.

I guess there is just too much swimming around in my head right now, and I don't want to really focus on any one piece of it... raise that piece up and make it even more overwhelming then it is already. So I'll just forget about it for now and talk about nothing.