some things

I keep talking about how excited I am to leave. About how good it will be to get out. I'm ready to move on to the next stage of my life... But sometimes it just seems like its all moving too fast.
There are so many things I don't want to leave behind.

My roommates, simplicity, my freedom to not get up in the morning, and being able to walk to most of my friends houses.
There are things I'm going to miss so badly.

I have this reopened wound now. The past year and a half I've been able to forget it... but now, as always before, just when I feel like the soreness is gone, it comes back. With a vengence.

"Welcome Brothers old and young, welcome every loyal son..."
Sometimes words are not enough, and peoples sorry's aren't enough, and the fact that "i'm as much a 'chosen few' as anyone else" is not fucking enough....
Sometimes words where actions should have been are just not enough.

And when it comes at a time like this, with every other feeling piling on, it just hurts extra badly. I will miss Lehigh despite everything. And I will miss that one part especially. I've spent a good part of my four years there!
I'm ready to move forward. But maybe my heart is still hanging on.