blah... jobs

Well, it's another blah Tuesday... I'm getting really sick of school and have senioritis very badly, and basically just want to get out of here and move on to the next stage of my life. Lehigh has been fun, and I still have fun here, and love it... but I'm just ready for what's next. Yet this leads to a lot of stress. I'm so stressing out about jobs right now. It's scary to think about the job market, and about how competitive any job that I could get with an IR degree are going to be. :-( I'm petrified that I won't be able to find anything and I'll end up working some minial secretary job just to pull in a salary.

I feel depressed about my resume and my grades... I feel like I could have done better, done more... but it's not like I don't try!! I work so much that it doesn't leave a lot of time for extra-curricular activities. Three jobs this semester, and three clubs. Plus 17 credits and job searching. It's not like I could add more into that, and I really am trying with the grades. I'm not stupid, but sometimes there is just too much going on. There are things that I regret so much though, because I really could have changed them.

I should have planned my progression of classes better. I should have gotten more involved my freshman year. I should have kept up with Chinese. I never should have became a pothead for my freshman and sophomore years. I should have gone abroad last year. I should have gotten a better job or an interview over my pre-junior year summer. I should have waited an extra week last year to agree to an internship, and therefore have been able to do the UN one (well, I guess that one I couldn't have known about).

I'm really not looking forward to the Career Fair either, because of all this. I feel like it will simply depress me and lead me to feel trapped. It is autumn, my favorite time of year... and all I want to do is be happy and content, and excited about the coming year. Instead I am feeling desperately rushed, stuck, and cornered.

I guess I just have to do my best and see what will come. Wish me luck.... :-\