somewhere between hard and soft, strong and weak

I've been back at yoga now for about 10 weeks now. It feels good to move, to sweat, to work my body hard.

My relationship with my postpartum (round 2) body is funny. With Gwen I was so much more distracted from it. I had a brand new baby to care for. This time around, while I know I'm already so far ahead of where I was then (for numerous reasons), its hard to not just have my body back already. My stomach/core is so much weaker then it was. Everything is softer, shakier.

I have to remind myself over and over that it took 9 months of hard work to put all the baby weight onto my body, months of stretched stomach muscles; it will take time to drop, tighten, tone, and strengthen things up to whatever my new normal will be.

Lately though I've been finding comfort in the positives. How amazing it felt to lay on my back for savasana. Being able to do floor work again and rock out an amazing bow pose. The way, after 8 weeks away, my body and my muscles remembered exactly what they were supposed to do. It might be harder, it might not be as deep or as stable, but it is there.

For now I do my best to concentrate on the progress vs. the desired outcome.